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A one-way ticket for Dad to somewhere far, far away where Mother couldn't find him for child support payments was their sole concession to my existence.I'll tell you the truth. I have no fucking clue how I lived long enough until I was able to start taking care of myself. I can only attribute it to two facts. First, Mother wasn't as strung out on drugs and alcohol back then. Second, I grew up fast.I have a pretty good memory. I'm not stupid! My earliest memories are of having my own room and a small, single bed where I spent much of my time. If Mother didn't see me, she couldn't hit me. So my training to become, and to remain, invisible started at an early age.So, too, did my training to become a thief. After Mother and whatever man was currently my new 'Uncle' finished making strange noises at night, I knew it would be safe to make a food run to the kitchen while they were passed out on the couch or in Mother's bed. If they were passed out on the couch I didn't dare turn on a light.. ." NO!" she almost screamed "No Bill, don't say it, I'd die if you left me." And how do you think I feel right now." I retorted feeling anger bubbling up again "They" I said waving at the TV "seem to be able to make you happier than I ever could, what do you think that says to me? "Ruth collapsed in near hysterical crying on the carpet and all I could do was sit there and stare numbly at her. Five minutes passed before she looked up at me again, even through her despair she looked beautiful."Bill," she croaked "they did make me ... climax ..., but ..." But what?" I snapped at her."But I didn't want them to!" she cried out "They used me Bill, they ..." Used you?" I said in disbelief "Christ Ruth, that excuse might work if it had been the once, but you went back for more!" I had to!" she cried out "Don't you understand, I had to keep going back, I had to keep doing what they wanted." Because they satisfied you like I never could." I commented with a sigh of sadness."No!" she protested.
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